Cross Posted and Bible Black
by ChrisMay 5th, 2006 7:10 am
As I’m sure some of you know, a few of the brave souls who serve in the 101st Fighting Keyboardists have put together a movement to wear the chickenhawk moniker with the pride it so surely deserves. They even have a logo:
It seems they eat chicken for lunch. Bravo!
Well actually, I don’t know how I feel about having chicken for lunch. I’ve always found chicken to be the dullest of all the fowl. Dry, funky and flavorless for the most part. Sure, a good cook can work wonders, but I live life on the go damnit. If fowl is going to be on the lunch menu, it really ought to be the finest of all fowl. If you aren’t a fool, you know I’m talking about duck. Personally, I have duck for lunch at least once a week, as well as two or three times a week for dinner. Ah sweet, fatty, succulent, heavenly duck, how I adore thee. Have chicken for lunch if you like, but don’t be surprised when I call you something quite rude while I’m licking plum sauce and duck fat from my greasy fingers. I digress.
One might be tempted to giggle and dismiss the whole affair as perhaps the worst attempt to turn an insult into a point of pride in modern history, but then it gets just a little worse. It appears that CENTCOM has endorsed the 101st Fighting Keyboardists brave efforts to wage war absent said Keyboardists’participation in the suffering and dying bit.
Captain Ed posts the following email sent to a member of the 101st Fighting Keyboardists, directly from US Central Command:
Hi, Kiril:
I caught your post about the 101st Fighting Keyboardists. Good luck with the project! I’m not sure if you have been to the US Central Command website but we regularly post news, photos, audio and video from Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom. You (and your fellow bloggers) are welcome to use any materials you find on our site. If you’d like to receive the weekly electronic newsletter and monthly Coalition Bulletin, just ask.
If you could add a link to CENTCOM, it’d be appreciated (I’m trying to spread the word about our site!). I’ve attached the CENTCOM logo, should you want to use it with the link. Thanks!
SPC C. Flowers
CENTCOM Public Affairs
As you might imagine, Captain Ed is Pumped:
It’s very gratifying to get this kind of validation for our effort, but I know from our correspondence that Centcom appreciates the support they receive from many people across the blogosphere. I wonder how many will refer to Centcom as chickenhawks? […]
For those who argue that Centcom didn’t endorse this in an official way … well, no kidding. It’s hardly a form letter, either. Did anyone notice where SPC Flowers wrote, “I caught your post about the 101st Fighting Keyboardists. Good luck with the project”? That sounds to me like SPC Flowers appreciates this blogospheric effort to support the mission and the troops. He’s certainly encouraging us to continue it.
I’m glad the good Captain brought up that bit about form letters, because I really hate form letters. It mostly comes in the form of email spam and corporate holiday cards these days, but the form letter is still alive, well and looking for a sucker. Email spam, in particular, is so ubiquitous, and often well crafted, that just wading into your inbox can make it difficult to discern reality from fiction some days. A few weeks ago, my friend Noz was good enough to point out a really nasty bit of spam he received, which clearly targeted horible, stupid, awful, smelly, naive bloggers.
Hi:
I was reading your post about Gen. Abizaid and wanted to let you know that the US Central Command website, http://www.centcom.mil, features news, photos, audio and video from Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom. You’re welcome to use any materials you find on our site. If you’d like to be signed up for the weekly electronic newsletter and monthly Coalition Bulletin, just ask.
If you could add a link to CENTCOM, that would be great (I’m trying to spread the word about our site). Thanks!
SPC C. Flowers
CENTCOM Public Affairs
Snark aside, I’m a little pissed that, to date, PSC C. Flowers hasn’t sent me a damn thing. I don’t admit to it in polite company, but I am a blogger. A smelly one at that. Why the hell hasn’t Flowers asked me to push a little government propaganda? I’m more than just a bit hurt. If PSC Flowers is reading this, he/she should know that I have very few morals and will do just anything if it makes me feel like I’m one of the cool kids. Just throw me a bone babe.
Just to show I’m a good sport and harbor no ill will, I’ll provide the text of the email Flowers should send me, so all that he/she has to do is copy and paste.
Dear Mr. Baldwin [Ed: I’m old school and insist on formalities. Don’t go around saying “Hey Chris!†until you know my ass from a hole in the wall.],
I caught your post about Cat Shit Coffee. Good luck with the liquid feline feces! I’m not sure if you have been to the US Central Command website but we regularly post news, photos, audio and video from Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom. You (and your fellow bloggers) are welcome to use any materials you find on our site. If you’d like to receive the weekly electronic newsletter and monthly Coalition Bulletin, just ask.
If you could add a link to CENTCOM, it’d be appreciated (I’m trying to spread the word about our site!). I’ve attached the CENTCOM logo, should you want to use it with the link. Thanks!
SPC C. Flowers
CENTCOM Public Affairs
I won’t go on because the rest is too awful.
(Via some guy with a broken wrist)
Also available where frogs have no name.
May 5th, 2006 at 7:54 am
Hi, Mr. Baldwin:
Thank you for your interest in the CENTCOM website. Actually, what we’re trying to do is make our website as comprehensive and informative as possible so that it’s of use to bloggers regardless of editorial slant. At present we’re doing final edits on the next Coalition Bulletin magazine (which will be posted as a PDF within the next few days) and expanding the audio and video sections. Hopefully some of it will prove to be of interest.
Good luck with your blog.
SPC C. Flowers
CENTCOM Public Affairs
May 5th, 2006 at 8:13 am
see? that’s what i was trying to tell cap’n special ed. spc flowers will write to anybody. i mean, if he left a comment here, he’s really slumming. :)
May 5th, 2006 at 8:40 am
Hi SPC Flowers! Thanks for stopping by and observing the formalities. You should really leave your comment on Booman, because nobody visits this lousy site. Well except for upyernoz, but he doesn’t count.
May 5th, 2006 at 9:54 am
i don’t count? check this out:
one, two, four… ah fuck
May 5th, 2006 at 10:17 am
So if I respond to this post, just for the sheer hell of it, will the FBI throw together a file on me? It would be a boring file to be sure, but let’s see if I can make it happen.
In fact, if I were to ever have an FBI file, I’m pretty sure this would be the only opportunity for me to get one. Unless of course you count that whole ill-advised dalliance with the Shadow Protest guy. He’s pretty sure they had a file on him, maybe I would be guilty by association now. Or maybe it was my friend, Kathy, from college. Her dad was a retired CIA agent. Maybe all those nights of underage drinking while playing “Up The River, Down The River” hurt me more than I know.
And how does it work anyway? If I have an FBI file, does that mean I can never get a job with high security clearance? Oh darn, I might as well forget about that job at Lockheed Martin after all. Would they monitor my comings and goings? Have they tapped my phone lines? (God, that would be boring, if you guys are looking for a perverse thrill, go elsewhere, trust me.)
Back in the day, I actually wanted to be an FBI agent. There seemed to be something glamorous, almost romantic, about it. I’m not sure I feel the same way anymore. I’d probably know stuff and have to keep silent about things that would make me feel dirty (probably not dirty in a good way either) and I don’t think I’d like that.