Boneless Bits of Tid
by ChrisNovember 7th, 2005 9:05 pm
Oh crap! There’s an election tomorrow and I have nothing to wear. ACM, as per ACM’s usual, has actually had a look at the local races and ballot measures and has some recommendations. I recommend all of these recommendations, though I won’t be voting for either of the District Attorney candidates myself, as neither one belongs in that office and at least one is pure evil.
I should also note that you should have a look at what Clean Sweep has to say about voting “no” on the retention of justices Newman and Nigro. I have some questions about how non-partisan this non-partisan group is, so it would have been wise to look into their recomendations, motives and fund raising before today. Alas, I did not, so I’m just passing it along. While the organization lays out a pretty compelling case against Nigro, their case against Newman is a little thin - a taxpayer funded Cadillac and saying nothing about the legislative pay raise.
For more info on the ballot question, have a look at this post by Friedman. If you needed any reason to get your lazy butt out of bed sometime before 8:00 PM tomorrow and haul your unwashed self down to the polling place, voting “yes” the ballot question should be it. Hell, even if your personal grooming habits and hygiene are exemplary, the ballot question is still a good reason to head out and vote. I’m sure the poll workers will appreciate your fresh breath and distinct lack of body odor. They may even compliment you. Now wouldn’t that be nice?
Can a lack of odor be distinct?
If I’m not mistaken there is a gubernatorial election happening in New Jersey and if elected, both of the major party candidates will spend their time in office slaughtering cute little puppies and kittens, sleeping with your spouse and getting pumped up on bovine growth hormones. At least neither of them has advocated the crucifixion of prisoners, which is more than can be said for some.
On a related note, isn’t it about time that New Jersey got its own TV and radio stations? Is there some way we could insist on this? Philadelphia politics may be repugnant and corrupt, but the shit New Jersey politicians put in their advertisements would scare toxic waste. I’m a bit worried that being exposed to these ads on a daily basis has corroded my own moral fiber. For instance, just the other day I spotted a cute little puppy dog in the park and I called it a spineless, baby killing, bloodsucking motherfucker just out of spite. That never would have happened before being exposed to 400 hours of political advertising from New Jersey candidates. This, I swear, is true.
I would be remiss as a Philadelphia blogger if I didn’t mention the Terrell Owens situation and give my heartfelt opinion on this crucial matter.
- Considering Owens’ removal from the Eagles, I must conclude that that the organization has given up on getting to the Super Bowl this season and probably won’t even make the playoffs.
- The Eagles could not have made the playoffs, let alone the Super Bowel, with Terrell Owens on the team and it’s a happy day now that this cancer has been extracted from the team.
- I don’t give a fuck.
Other bits of tid were boned and ready to be served up with a side of bioluminescent sea slugs. Sadly, they were all knocked to the floor by an irate rhesus monkey and are no longer fit for consumption by man or beast. Incidentally, the rhesus monkey in question has since been cut into bite sized pieces, which were in turn covered with a hard candy coating. Run along now.
Another Update: As ACM point’s out in ACM’s post, be sure to have a look at what Ben has to say about judicial retention.
November 8th, 2005 at 9:46 am
how about writing in seth williams?
November 8th, 2005 at 10:11 am
I was thinking of doing that myself. Not that it would do any good, but it certainly would feel good wouldn’t it?
November 8th, 2005 at 10:50 am
feeling good is nice
November 8th, 2005 at 9:10 pm
Damn monkeys! The thought of bits of tid and bioluminescent sea slugs had my mouth watering. Although, now that I think about it, maybe chocolate enrobed rhesus monkey chunks would be just as tasty.
That, by the way, was a most entertaining and informative post. Always a good combination. :)
November 9th, 2005 at 1:23 am
Thank you Ms. Melissa .I blush like a pimple laden teenaged boy in late August. Hell, I’ll take the compliments any day, even if I’m reluctant to believe them at all.
Something I’d like just a little more than a quick pat on the ass for my own bullshit, is just a little cross-posting of political shit somewhere where the kids could have a look. As I’m sure you know, the kids are alright.
November 10th, 2005 at 3:38 am
Chris,
I’ve seen nothing of Clean Sweep to suggest they aren’t non-partisan. One of their board members was a Democratic candidate out here in Bucks, while the founder has been most indentified with the Libertarian party.
Aside from that, having been to a couple of the meetings and conversing with Mr. Diamond a couple times (originally out of curiosity), there really are all types of folks at their get togethers, and the focus is actively steered away from other political issues and focused on pay raise issues.
It’s odd because I know liberal friends who assume Clean Sweep is a sneaky front for a Republican organization, while I’ve also spoken with more conservative acquaintances who assume the opposite. It seems like people get suspicious of groups that don’t wear the label of one party or the other. I guess I understand why though.
November 10th, 2005 at 3:55 pm
I do tend to be quite suspicious of non-partisan groups. I think there is enough of a history of that label being misused to warrant it. I’m quite a bit more comfortable with very clearly labeled partisan groups in that I know where they are coming from ideologically and, to be really cynical, what sort of spin/lies/hackery to expect and what sort of filter I should apply.