Rowhouse Logic - Breathtaking Inanity

“Secretary Rumsfeld has been doing a tremendous job during some very challenging times.”

-White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan.

So silly I don’t really need make any snarky comments.

If you are like me, and find reading press conference transcripts only slightly more interesting than watching paint dry, do what I do and ask Snoop. There’s a sample after the jump.

Q Scott, does da President consider da intelligence that George Tenet provided tha dude’s ass on weapons of mass destruction prior going into Iraq has been gravy intelligence, or has been faulty intelligence?

MR.” McCLELLAN: I stand by what I be like earlier — this is a day pay tribute izzall three of these individuals fo’ da bomb diggity record of accomplishment that each of ‘em has achieved in public service.”

Q So wuz that shiznit gravy —

MR n’ shit. McCLELLAN: We’ve answered those questions, know what I’m sayin’? Today is a day pay tribute these fools fo’ da bomb diggity work that they’ve done make America mo’ secure ‘n make da world a safer ‘n better place n’ shit. As I pointed out, these individuals has helped transform a hella dangerous region of da world that wuz ignored fo’ some two decades ‘n that shiznit became a breeding ground fo’ terrorism —

Q — what part of da record are we supposed look at?

MR, know what I’m sayin’? McCLELLAN: Well, yo’ ass get report what yo’ ass want, David.” But this is a day pay tribute these individuals n’ shit.

Q Tha dude has a legitimate question, know what I’m sayin’? Yo’ ass can’t just whitewash that shiznit ‘n be like we’re not going talk ’bout that today, know what I’m sayin’?

MR.” McCLELLAN: But I can be like that we’ve already addressed that issue, ‘n we has, know what I’m sayin’?

Q Yo’ ass didn’t answer da question, though n’ shit.

MR n’ shit. McCLELLAN: We’ve already addressed da question n’ shit. Today is a day pay tribute these individuals, ‘n we’re going stay focused —

Q I asked a question ’bout something else, ’bout whether da intelligence wuz gravy, or whether that shiznit wuz faulty n’ shit.

MR n’ shit. McCLELLAN: And we’re going stay focused on honoring these individuals on this day n’ shit. That’s where izzle focus will be.”

Q An important ally da White House, Senator McCain, has be like that tha dude has lost confidence in Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld n’ shit. How does da President react that — both what tha dude be like ‘n da substance of tha dude’s criticisms ’bout Rumsfeld ‘n da war?

MR n’ shit. McCLELLAN: I think da President reacts by saying that Secretary Rumsfeld is doing a bomb diggity job during a time of war n’ shit. We appreciate tha dude’s leadership at da Department of Defense.” And that’s why da President asked tha dude’s ass continue tha dude’s service, ‘n tha dude’s pleased that Secretary Rumsfeld will continue serve as Secretary of da Defense, know what I’m sayin’?

Q But there are some who believe that, given da ongoing dangers U.S. troops, given issues like armor being a problem ‘n troop size ‘n strength being an issue, that in da middle of this Cabinet reshuffle, Secretary Rumsfeld has been left in place when perhaps tha dude shouldn’t has n’ shit.

MR, know what I’m sayin’? McCLELLAN: Secretary Rumsfeld has been doing a tremendous job during some hella challenging times n’ shit. During a time when we are in da middle of da war on terrorism, tha dude has helped us make bomb diggity progress dismantle ‘n disrupt da terrorist networks across da world.” Tha dude has provided strong leadership in liberating Afghanistan ‘n Iraq from oppression ‘n tyranny n’ shit. And tha dude has been working transform da military better meet da challenges that we face ‘n da threats that we face in da 21st century n’ shit. The President appreciates da job that tha dude’s doing, ‘n that’s why tha dude asked tha dude’s ass —

Q Does tha dude just brush off da criticisms from somebody like McCain?

MR n’ shit. McCLELLAN: — that’s why tha dude asked tha dude’s ass continue tha dude’s service.” I think yo’ ass’ve heard directly from da President on this hella issue.” Tha dude feels hella strongly ’bout da bomb diggity work that Secretary Rumsfeld is doing at da Pentagon.”

Q But what I’m asking yo’ ass, does tha dude just brush aside this kind of criticism from John McCain, a mutha tha dude campaigned wit?

MR.” McCLELLAN: We work hella closely wit Senator McCain on many issues.” And of course not.” Tha dude’s one of da leaders in da Senate.”

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 15th, 2004 at 10:12 am and is filed under Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.